Learning To Lean
Photo Cred by Mizghund Productions
“Bro, you know we are here for you, no matter what. We aren’t tired of supporting you.”
-Ricky Phillips
Life has a way of exposing our fragilities, not in a sense to imply that we are weak but to bring awareness to things that we are most vulnerable to. For me, the way that I viewed support was only through the lens of providing a service. You know, helping others but not necessarily helping myself or receptive to the reciprocity of service. Navigating through the whelms of separation and losing seven family members this year truly took a toll on me. As one could imagine, there were several moments when I was extremely overwhelmed and constantly feeling unsettled. I typically struggle with transitions until I am able to identify my emotions. Once I understand how I feel, I typically function accordingly. Being unstable or feeling inadequate are huge insecurities for me; even when the circumstances are unavoidable, I tend to take ownership. On one hand, this can seem a little extreme but on the other, this is a reminder to remain accountable for my actions.
I have always been a man of faith; however, for the last few months, I have seemed to cling to it even more. For clarity, not in the stereotypical, leaning on my faith when in trouble type of way but a steady progression that has seemed to become more intense since starting Love Is A Parable. The mystery behind faith has always been an intriguing complex-delicate for me. Yep, I recognize that I am on a journey. However, I didn’t understand that some paths must be journeyed alone. Sometimes, it’s not that we've ever had company but a migration of individual journeymen.
This path that I am on is one that I must take alone but by no means does that mean that I am alone. I am learning how to lean. Funny, when we think of adulthood, we normally think of putting away childish type things, not re-learning them. I needed to learn the value of leaning on others. While chatting with my brother, Ahmed, he said something that resonated with me: “I need you to be back to you.” Many confuse progression and/or moving forward as a directional positioning versus a reflective disposition of returning. In fact, this is what our mission and vision are all about, helping others to return to them, to return to love. I became clogged with the things that were surrounding me, forgetting that I am constantly surrounded by love. I forgot how to be open, I forgot Ephphatha!
I was focused on a perceived outcome not realizing what was coming out of this. Yes, a community of love advocates, who were ready to engage and activate the learning principles taught through the various trainings of the LIAP. Most importantly, the personification of love and kindness seemed to blanket me with a reminder that we must purpose regardless of our feelings. Here are a few things that I have learned along the way and would love to share:
Be open.
It is ok to feel, to feel whatever you are feeling.
It is ok to cry, and cry a lot.
Take as many hugs as you can get.
Don’t feel guilty for communicating your needs.
Be honest with what you are feeling, moment by moment.
Nothing is wrong with not having it all figured it out.
Learn to lean on those you value and trust.
Challenge yourself to be completely honest and allow others to be honest with you.
Remember, you are love and loved.
Remember, everything is a learning experience.
Remember, your purpose and stay connected.
Don’t take anything personally.
Regardless of how you feel, still, create.
Allow others to help.
It may feel like it, but you are not starting over.
On this journey, seek and maintain wise counsel
Return and revisit your core values.
Examine the contents of your Sacred Box.
Listen, even to what is not being said.
Breathe.
If anything, take this moment to pause and reflect on whatever is going on in your life, and remember that the most important thing is that you are still here. Here, is where greatness still thrives, loves still soars, and dreams are still manifested. Don’t be afraid to embrace this moment of being here, whatever here is, as your new life rhythm.
Lastly, though I hate to list names, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Mohammad Sadat, Ahmed Radwan, Ricky Phillips, and Cordell Gibson for the daily check-ins, making my birthday awesome, and just being all-around great brothers. By no means am I saying they are the only ones but I have to acknowledge the continuous and strong band of support that they have been.
Love Is A Parable- an initiative and movement that later became an organization within itself. Love is A Parable is a DBA and subsidiary of Altar and Dwelling Place, Inc. We are a charitable and an educational 501c3 organization, who provide character, social, and leadership development to those who have an aspiration toward unity, love, and kindness through a reflective thinking approach and sacred-box theory.
J. Dwayne Garnett, BSRT, MHA, QP
Chief Executive Officer
Love Is A Parable
Available for Empowerment Speaking Engagements, Consultations, Uncovering Sessions, and Instruction.
Find out more about J at by clicking HERE!
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