I'm Wrestling

I am sitting here about to lose it.  My flesh is telling me to cool it; but, my spirit is telling me to fuel it! I am struggling with the inner-me, the valuable centerpiece, the inter-piece is attempting to corrupt me subtly by the enemy. I am empty, dry heaving into this pseudo-bile, this they call the holy vile… as I vow never to feel this; and yet this, has me at a standstill of might over will.  But what is it that I am to feel? I am so angry to the point of performing self-inflicted homicide.  No, not suicide, but homicide, because one way or another, the flesh must die! That’s it, a carnal genocide; with my staff and rod by my side.  This is a serious matter, when we have preachers procreating perversions, leading fleshly conversions, molesting the innocents, robbing virtue, crowning Judas, slaying Peters, telling Mary not to weep, while trying to lay her between the sheets, raping purity with the storehouse meats… and yes as it creeps, creeps on and on from sermon to song, making an adverse the verse, the pulpit is now a stage to perform… like, sold out arenas with hidden agendas, tarnishing the nation and labeling it the “Christian Coalition”… assassinating the Hebrew Manifestation, trying to remove the spiritual association… leaving casualties and titling it “Healing for the nations”  But what’s really going on, when we are hurting for a solution, choking off the lack of evolution, but my heart racing towards a revolution, while suffocating in the midst of all this confusion... this is a mere illusion; but Yah I need you, I am wrestling I won’t let go until you bless me. 

 I’m wrestling, I need you, I won’t let go until you bless me 

I’m wrestling, I’m broken, I won’t let go until you bless me 

I’m wrestling, I’m desperate, I won’t let go until… 

 I am reflecting while collecting fragments of reality, removing former passions of idolatry, I’m placing them in a box… signing it forget me not, confessing the blessings I got and leaving the wishes to rot, conflicting with the inner hell gets hot.  Asking constantly for questions, because I seem to have all of the answers… just praying to make life better, yes, yes, much much better, I have to align my life with the contents of the letter, changing my curses to cures …a remnant of the pure, birthing the stability to endure, I awaken to living in the revelation of what I must do  with this set-apart residue… here it is fueled through my testimony and seems that I am the only… one, to feel this, taste this, want this, Believe this.  See, I am tired of the righteous being seen as controversial while the erroneous is being accepted as the majority as if it’s the rule, but only to fools. Yet we, the Called out-Chosen ones, we know the truth, and in Yah we trust!  And still, secretly I watch. Why must I cry in the dark, seeing closets burst open with skeletons falling in piles; in the reflection of crooked smiles, is this really worth my while, to stay here a while, to tarry here a while, to pray for a while and suffer on this spiritual trial... It feels like I am walking the last mile… Yah I need you, for all its worth, I am no longer a stain from birth… cause I am wrestling…  

 I’m wrestling, I need you, I won’t let go until you bless me 

I’m wrestling, I’m broken, I won’t let go until you bless me 

I’m wrestling, I’m desperate, I won’t let go until you bless me 

I’m wrestling, until you change my name… 

You say the day is breaking? Well, change my name.

We all have a struggle and fight within us. Grab your blessing and don't let go. A deeper look at Genesis 32:22-32.