Is It FEAR?

Holding on is tied to the fear of letting go.  Often times, we think of this only in regard to relationships, romantic or platonic.   However, before addressing that narrative, it important to examine our ideology surrounding fear.   Many of us view fear as a negative thing, an unpleasant emotion when there is more to fear.  In fact, there is more to us, but we FEAR the uncovering and/or exposure.   If we were to be totally honest, the intensity of our grip is induced by the severity of our fear.   One could easily argue that it is not fear that’s the problem because it is circumstantial, just like the thing we are afraid to let go. Therefore, we must become acquainted with our deposition regarding letting go and examining the roots.   

It is no mystery that we are complex individuals, but much of our complexity is concentrated in the compounded experiences that we’ve either neglected or refused to acknowledge.  Here again, there lies this FEAR.   This is fear of being who we truly are is crippling us from letting go of the things that have contributed to our disability.   This practice becomes a reflective mantra and paradigm that constructs the way we view and recognize life and those we choose to be in it. Interestingly enough, we don’t think about how quickly many of us will walk away from the healthiest relationships because of disappointment but will stay in destructive ones. 

 As Educator and Entrepreneur, Aquarius Cain mentions, “I think society shows us time and time again that being mistreated is the norm and being in a healthy relationship is the 'exception to the rule.' So, we're subconsciously trained to think that love means enduring pain and to be skeptical of those who don't hurt us!”  As much as I agree, I couldn’t help but think, what is society?  Society is nothing more than a community of people.  So, imagine what would happen if a community of damaged individuals continued to aggregate. This society would produce a damaged-culture.

 Now, onto the perception of fear; which shouldn’t maintain an unpleasant connotation. Like us, there are two sides to fear.  The side that is often overlooked is that of reverence and respect.   See, we can easily fear to let go of the things or persons that we respect; but I am afraid, far too often, we have more respect for others than ourselves.  There should be a fear of letting ourselves go.   Really, what about the relationship within? There were dreams, aspirations, goals, and promises that we committed to ourselves.  What happened to them?  Did we let them go?  If so, was it out of fear of hurting ourselves, respecting ourselves, or placing others before ourselves?  Either way, what are we holding onto?  What are we letting go?  Should there be a change or different order?