“Burning bridges behind you is understandable. It's the bridges before us that we burn, not realizing we may need to cross, that brings regret.”
― Anthony Liccione

At times, life can be extremely difficult.   In fact, if not you, then, someone connected to you may be experiencing a series of unfortunate events at this very moment.  When someone who we care for is hurt, it is natural to want to heal their pain or remove any form of emotional distress. It is important to note, that even with our good intentions, we could potentially cause more harm.   Therefore, it is imperative to consider the following:

1. Try to avoid minimizing their experience by injecting a relatable instance of your own.  This usually starts with, "I know how you are feeling..."

2. Try to avoid minimizing the experience by giving an outcome-based prediction as a form of motivation.  This usually starts with, "you are going to be alright..."

3. Try to avoid making comparisons of any kind.

4. Try to avoid joining in on the pity party.  This usually starts with, "if it ain't one thing, it's another..."

5. Try to avoid giving unsolicited advice especially without understanding the depth of the situation.

6. Try to avoid rushing their healing. 

7. Try not to reduce the significance of key individuals in their lives.

8. Try to avoid asking for support from the person you are assisting while they are going through.

9. Try to avoid making their pain or trauma a competition or tally sheet.   This is not the time to insert, "see, I told you..."

10. Know when to be shoulder and when to be a mouthpiece.

11. Exercise active listening and reflective pausing.

12. Never assume you have the license to govern or dictate the actions of another. 

13. Attempt to address the immediate concern before providing a solution.

14. Understand that you are present as a supporting castmate, not the main character.

15. Understand that your role may not always be your position in a person’s life.

16. Be intentionally aware of your actions and attempt to avoid behavioral irritants.

17. Incorporate or find ways to reduce discomfort

18. Be a pillar of hope through example and not a history lesson.

19. Be present.

20. Speak in love.

Try these 20 things and let us know if they helped. Remember, we are all trying to do the best we can. Let’s be intentional to exercise behaviors that forge togetherness and healing.

Love Is A Parable- an initiative and movement that later became an organization within itself. Love is A Parable is a DBA and subsidiary of Altar and Dwelling Place, Inc. We are a charitable and educational 501c3 organization, that provides character, social, and leadership development to those who have an aspiration toward unity, love, and kindness through a reflective thinking approach and sacred-box theory that involves value-based education.

J. Dwayne Garnett, BSRT, MHA, QP
Chief Executive Officer
Love Is A Parable
Available for Empowerment Speaking Engagements, Consultations, Uncovering Sessions, and Instruction.
Find out more about J by clicking HERE!